I just read the story from Lindsey Boylan regarding her experience working with Governor Cuomo. Here are a few snippets:
My boss soon informed me that the Governor had a “crush” on me. It was an uncomfortable but all-too-familiar feeling: the struggle to be taken seriously by a powerful man who tied my worth to my body and my appearance.
...
I had complained to friends that the Governor would go out of his way to touch me on my lower back, arms and legs. His senior staff began keeping tabs on my whereabouts. “He is a sexist pig and you should avoid being alone with him!” my mother texted me on November 4, 2016.
...
“Let’s play strip poker.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” I responded sarcastically and awkwardly. I tried to play it cool. But in that moment, I realized just how acquiescent I had become.
Listen, I don’t have time to coddle anyone here. I’m just going to speak my mind: When anyone at your workplace speaks to you (or touches you) in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, you should confront them then and there, and ask that they stop. If they don’t stop, escalate your complaint to the next level. If the perpetrator owns the company, then contact the EEOC.
You see, as working adults, we have the ability to decide what we will and will not tolerate. And yes, it’s true: Sometimes standing up for ourselves might result in being fired, or not hired in the first place. But you know what? That’s fine. File a complaint, try to get justice, but FFS, don’t continue to quietly accept unwanted comments and touching.
If you read Boylan’s article, it’s clear that she neglected to take a firm, unequivocal stance from day one. The moment her boss told her about Cuomo’s crush, she should have made it 100% clear that she was not interested, she was there to do a job, and that she wouldn’t tolerate romantic advances from Cuomo or anyone else who her boss thought might be interested. Then dare that idiot to fire her. But she didn’t do that. Instead she became complicit in the inappropriate behavior. Yeah, I said it. Complicit.
But but… guys like Governor Cuomo and others shouldn’t have to be told that they’ve crossed the line and are being inappropriate!!!
Right. They shouldn’t have to be told. In a perfect world, everyone would know exactly what to say and how to say it. But the problem is that different people have different lines, and those lines may even vary within the same person depending on who is pushing those boundaries: Are they attractive and funny? Or unattractive and obnoxious? Someone I like or someone I don’t like? All of those things affect where each of us individually place our lines.
That’s why it is important that we speak up to remove all doubt. Not speaking up is interpreted as consent.
It really sucks that women are forced to have these awkward and uncomfortable conversations when all we want to do is keep our jobs in order to support ourselves and our families. Again, we shouldn't have to do it. But it’s so important that when faced with these situations, we stand up for ourselves. Firmly and in real time.
